So some dude shot me.
But that was at the end, not the beginning. So I better start where it starts. So we burnt up them vampires from last time, and Nico and Jules gave all what was left to the police we know. I ain’t hear nothing else about that, so it must be alright now.
We was at this place called Raven Coffee Co and some little dude named Trick was all ‘sup’ at these guys cuz they know him and he knows they wolves. Anyways, he was all happy about something with Jules especially, and so he like led us all down in his little tiny man house in his coffee place and gave us all a bunch of something called whiskey. I dunno what that is, so I went by the library on patrol and looked it up and it was like this:
“An alcoholic liquor distilled from a fermented mash of grain, as barley, rye, or corn, and usually containing from 43 to 50 percent alcohol.”
So it’s like really good beer, I guess.
Okay, back to this Trick dude. One, this is a bitchen’ name. And two, I guess I ain’t been doing good yet because this Trick cat said he had some work and Nico and Jules was looking at me when he said it. So I’m gonna be like ‘oh yeah, I wanna do that’ before they even say do it, right? Then they’ll be all impressed cuz it’ll be like I thought of it and since they was thinking it first they’ll be all like ‘yeah, he thinks like we do and we like that’.
So we finished up that and everyone was kinda off the hook with they whiskey still, but we hooked up with Sam, Jack’s cousin or whatev, outside. He was all saying some dude named Sexmitt called to come see them weird kids at the lighthouse. So we jet back to the light house to hook up with him. Dealt with pretty fast. They didn’t like him a whole lot. He was all hands-on like a doctor though so I don’t think most kids like doctors. We gotta meet up with him later on at the community center.
Oh yeah. Jack “Waffles” Shepherd found out his dad is at the college so we was getting ready to head up there when Jack was doing one of them rites that lets you find stuff. The lights went all crazy and we had to go beat down some spirits that was trying to eat Sirius. They was all worried about him after, so he hopped in a flashlight with us and we went to go see Jack’s dad.
It was kinda messed up there. We hit up the college and some chick named like ‘Moonbeamer’ or something was all talking about our energies and shit before she let us in. Everyone here was real into touching. We kept getting touched by chicks which was okay, but a bunch of dudes too which was okay until they was like kissing us and stuff. I didn’t really like no one doing that, even if they was a pretty girl but everyone was all cool so I didn’t wanna start nothing so I let them do it anyway even if some old dude kissed me on the mouth. Just like the corner, not the whole mouth.
So Jack’s dad was all ‘check it out my totem’s hot fucking shit’ so we went all sideways to say sup. He called his spirit The Smiling One and it was real weird. Like happy too much? It’s like them white dudes in all the old tv shows. Leave it on Beavers or whatever? Just like, real white people happy, eating mayonaise and drinking milk and saying ‘gosh darn’ and shit like that. I mean, that’s better than them spirits what got like blood pouring out holes in they head. Sorta. Least they don’t smile at you. You just kill them motherfuckers. This one you gotta smile back.
It was all happy to help though, kinda. It was telling us it’d help us with stuff and said they was some Black Spirals up near us. We gotta deal with that mess sometime, but I dunno when. Pack ain’t real strong together yet. Kinda tense after all the fighting each other lately. It’s real hard to fight something else right when you kinda mad at other people in your pack. We gotta deal with them later, but we was up and out from that smiley dude soon as we could and hit up the light house to chill for the night.
We hit up the community center in the morning, and first fucking thing all I see is some bangers slinging rock to some little kids. I was real glad everyone else was mad at them too, cuz soon as I saw them cats, I was like ‘fuck it it’s on’ and was heading they way. This is the part I was saying. Up at the start? Some dude shot me.
I didn’t even think about it til later, but I ain’t never been shot before that. Turned it on that bitch though. I was all Bruce fucking Lee and took boy’s gun and was all ‘NOW WHAT MOTHER FUCKER NOW WHAT I GOT YOUR GUN?!’ It wasn’t no thing though, cept Cleo got shot some too and I didn’t like that. But we fucked them bangers up real quick and they was out. Jack was all like Hawaii Five-O and was getting they license when they ran off, but then these fools called the police. Fuck. You don’t call the fucking MAN.
So The Man shows up and them Uni’s is all ‘Whatchu black people doing here?’ and I’m all ‘here we go it’s The Man like usual’. See, all these white wolves don’t get it cuz they white. They was all ‘you shouldn’t say things that are mean to brown people’ but hello, you can’t talk to The Man. Shit. Cops is all ‘fuck you’ and I said something cuz they asked a question, and they’re all ‘shut up’. Things got real hot real fast, but Nico’s all ‘We all brothers and sisters trying to do good, can’t we all get along’ and it was like he talked to they inner white dude with his inner white dude cuz they was like ‘yeah we all white it’s good’.
I got a better plan.
Beat up gang bangers
Beat up fucking 5-0
Flip they fucking car over
FUCK THE POLICE
Alright, so that’s the story how I got shot and the police is mother fuckers.